


Let Her Go

by iambuckyrogers



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 01:25:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17356355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iambuckyrogers/pseuds/iambuckyrogers
Summary: After an unfortunate foot in mouth situation you and Bucky are torn apart. How will you recover?





	Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for a prompt from @queenofkings121 on tumblr. I haven’t written anything like this before so I had a lot of fun trying out something new. I hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> Prompt: Can you write one where Bucky accidently calls the reader Nat during sexual intercourse and she breaks up with him. He's been staring and talking about, talking to and just hanging out with Nat for awhile and him saying her name during sex was the last straw? Also, she ends up with another guy [non-avenger] and Bucky regrets letting her go?

The door to the bedroom banged open and hit the door stop sending a crashing boom through the corridor.  
“Bucky,” you snickered wrapping your legs tighter around the super soldier’s waist.  
“What? I needed to get the door open didn’t I?” He sassed back before dropping you unceremoniously onto the bed. Your laughs turned into moans as he began kissing your neck, nipping and sucking at your soft skin. You tilted your head up to give him better access, your hands wound into his hair and pulled gently as he continued his ministrations. He tugged at the hem of your shirt, pulling away from you just long enough to rid you both of your tops before crashing his lips onto yours in a heated kiss. It was all tongues and teeth, desperate and needy. Using all your strength you rolled so that you were now straddling Bucky’s hips. With a hand to his chest, you pushed him onto his back, moving down his body so you were chest to chest. You pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, eliciting a delicious moan which caused heat to pool between your legs. You sucked dark marks onto his neck, soothing them with a gentle kiss before continuing your trail down his chest. Your hands roamed up and down his sides, caressing his hard muscles with gentle fingertips before settling your grip on his hips. You kissed down his happy trail, mouthing at his clothed erection which drew another guttural moan from the man beneath you.  
“Oh fuck yeah Nat,” he ground out. Instantly you froze, eyes snapping up to look at Bucky but he hadn’t moved, his eyes were shut, head thrown back in the pillows.  
“You called me Nat!” You snapped pushing yourself up to sit back on your haunches.  
“I - no I didn’t. I said just like that,” he spluttered.  
“Cut the shit Bucky I’m not fucking deaf,” you yelled getting off the bed and feeling around on the floor for your shirt.  
“Just calm down Doll, it’s not a big de-.” You cut Bucky off with a sharp slap to the face.  
“Don’t you dare tell me it’s not a big deal,” you choked out, eyes stinging, fists balling at your sides. You yanked your shirt over your head and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you

The gym was empty, as you had expected because it was 2 am after all. You made a beeline for the boxing bag, not even bothering to pick up gloves on your way through. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, hands clenching at your sides as you thought about all the warning signs that you had ignored. You opened your eyes and imagined the boxing bag was Bucky’s stupid face, throwing punch after punch onto the hard leathery surface. You thought about the last Thursday when you walked in on Nat and Bucky discussing your anxiety behind your back. You remembered how two weeks ago they were play fighting over the remote, ending up on the floor on top of each other. With each new memory, you were hit with a new surge of anger, fuelling your fists to hit the boxing bag harder. Your body was heaving and sweat poured off of your furrowed brow as you went to town, letting out all of your anger and frustration. More and more images came flooding back, Bucky and Nat having their own movie night, Bucky staring at Nat’s ass at the gym, the two of them hanging out more than you ever did with Bucky. Your anger slowly turned to sadness, your arms began to turn to lead, each punch harder than the last until eventually, you collapsed onto the floor. Tears streamed down your cheeks, you hugged your knees into your chest and let the sadness roll over you, suffocating you as sobs wracked your body. That was how you stayed until you felt numb and had no more tears left to cry. You pulled yourself to your feet and headed to your room. Not even bothering to shower you collapsed onto your bed and drifted into a restful sleep.

The sharp ring of your alarm pulled you from your sleep. Drowsily you got dressed and headed into the kitchen for breakfast. You prayed to whatever gods were out there that Bucky wouldn’t be around, but your silent prayers were left unanswered because as you rounded the corner you saw him stood behind the stove. You thought about turning around but why should you flee when he is the one clearly in the wrong. You pulled out a chair behind the breakfast bar and sat yourself down.  
“Morning,” Bucky said cheerfully making you want to smack him again. He had turned around from the stove and was plating up his bacon and eggs.  
“Mhm,” you grunted back.  
“Listen, Y/N, can we talk about this?” Bucky asked.  
“What is there to talk about James?” You spat, Bucky visibly shuddered at the use of his real name, it was something that you knew upset him so you used it to your advantage.  
“Us, last night, everything really. I was talking to Nat about our situati-,” You cut him off with a crazed laugh, shoving yourself off of the chair causing it to clatter to the floor.  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” you yelled, “she’s what got us into this situation,” using air quotes around the word situation.  
“Ok let’s just take a deep breath.”  
“Actually I will, and I’ll use it to tell you that we’re over, James. Go talk to Nat about that,” you stormed out of the kitchen not waiting to hear Bucky’s response. You needed to get away from him, put as much distance between you and your problems, so you headed down to the garage. Ignoring Friday’s warnings that it wasn’t safe to drive in your mood, you picked a car from Tony’s rather ridiculous selection, got the keys from the glove box and took off down the driveway. You didn’t know where you were going and you didn’t really care, you were just happy to be out of the compound.

It wasn’t long before your stomach began to growl. You got the GPS to take you to the nearest Starbucks because after your ordeal you deserved a good coffee. Thankfully the shop wasn’t busy, the line moved quickly and in no time it was your turn to order.  
“Yeah hi I’ll have a -“ you blanked, not being able to say your order, it reminded you of all the times you and Bucky had gone to Starbucks together, how he would get a milk moustache and whipped cream in his beard. Tears sprung back to your eyes as you recalled your many coffee dates.  
“Ah, sorry, are you alright?” the barista Joel (according to his name tag) cleared his throat as he looked at you with concern.  
“I’m so sorry,” you sniffed wiping your eyes, “I’m ok.” Joel scoffed.  
“No, you’re not”  
“Well, you’ve got me there,” you laughed.  
“I know its definitely not my place since I just met you but I get off in 5 if you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” He offered. You thought about his offer, he seemed genuinely sincere and you didn’t really have anyone else to talk to.  
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you stared and he looked slightly disappointed, “but I’d like to be distracted.”  
“Consider it done.” You gave him a weak smile before going to find a spot to sit. Realising that you hadn’t even made an order you were about to go back to the counter when Joel appeared with two drinks in his hands and a beaming smile.  
“I don't know what you drink but I hope this is ok.” He set one of the glasses in front of you before taking his place across the table. You took a tentative sip of the drink and were pleasantly surprised with how good it tasted. Much like the drink, Joel’s company was better than expected. He helped distract you from your problems for a little while before you decided to open up to him and he actually gave you some really good advice. You continued to talk for hours, only having to stop because the shop was closing. You exchanged numbers and headed back to the compound in much better spirits than when you left.

That wasn’t the last time you saw Joel. You texted frequently and even called each other occasionally. You went on a real date, followed by plenty more. You were finally happy and ironically you had Bucky to thank for that.

*****  
While all of that had been happening, Bucky had been on a mission. After you stormed out of the kitchen he had burst into Fury’s office and demanded to be put on the first mission that came up, he needed time to think away from the compound. Fury had obliged, sending him on a reconnaissance mission somewhere in the middle east. This gave Bucky plenty of time to think. Time to think about all the things that he’d be missing out on without you in his life, to think about how lonely he was sleeping all alone, how you were the greatest thing to ever happen to him and how he threw it all away so easily. He spent the rest of the mission crafting a speech to give to you, to tell you how he fucked up and how badly he needed you in his life, how you gave him meaning and how he needed you back. 

As the mission was nearing completion he was growing restless, needing to see you more than ever and rectify his mistakes. He had been gone 2 months by the time he got home. The quinjet engines had barely stopped spinning when Bucky launched himself off of the craft and into the compound, heading straight for your room despite it being 2am. Friday had tried relentlessly to get him to debrief, Fury and Hill were waiting for him but he didn’t care, the only thing he was thinking about was you. He banged on your door frantically, the speech he had crafted running around his head, adrenalin pumping through his veins. Eventually, you opened the door wearing a silk robe, the soft light from a bedside lamp shining behind you creating an angelic aura around your sleepy figure.  
“Bucky, what the hell is going on?” you whispered, voice heavy with sleep.  
“Y/N, I never should have let you go,” Bucky began.  
“Buck-“  
“No, please just listen to me,” he pleaded, his voice laced with desperation, “You’re all that I can think about, every waking moment is plagued with reminders of you and even in my dreams I can’t escape. I miss the way you’d play with my hair when we’d be in bed, or when you’d do silly impressions on missions to keep us entertained. I fucked up Y/N, I really did. I let the best thing I ever had go and I’m here to get it back, to get you back.” Bucky pushed your door open and entered your room, closing the distance between the two of you.  
“Please,” he whispered, putting his hand on your cheek and leant in closer only for you to pull back.  
“Bucky no,” you didn’t look him in the eye, he followed your gaze to your bed where a man was laid sprawled out amongst the covers. Bucky stumbled backwards as if he had been shot  
“His name is Joel,” you explained quietly, “I’ve moved on Bucky, I think its time that you do too.” With that you shut the door, leaving Bucky to pick up the pieces of his broken heart like you had to do yourself 2 months earlier.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @iambuckyrogers <3 until next time xx


End file.
